Happy Earth Day (Musings)

The kids and I didn't go on a nature walk or plant vegetables or any such organic activity in honor of Earth Day.  Lucy's been home sick, so besides the several books she's read, it's been technology central around here.  She and Spencer are in the basement watching a movie right now, in fact.  And I'm looking out the back windows at our grass that's dying because our sprinklers need a little TLC (please rain this weekend, please rain this weekend).  But.  If I lift my eyes above the faded, dry grass, the t r e e s in the backyard are at a peak of springtime loveliness.

The little Cinderella Crab we planted for Lucy's baptism...

May 2013

...has been growing about as fast as she has, and it is so beautiful when it blossoms in the spring. 

Grandpa and I chose it for it's white blossoms.  Seemed appropriate for a baptism tree.  What I didn't know was that the blossoms would start out as dark pink, almost red buds...

...and then open into beautiful thick white blooms.  

And that transformation seems even sweeter to me than if the buds were white from the beginning.  Reminds me in such a dramatic way of the beautiful invitation, "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."  Isaiah 1:18

Mom used to quote that scripture so often.  Especially the "come let us reason together" part.  Mom practiced that kind of open door policy in her parenting.  She was always accessible.  I knew I could bring any conversation to her table.  No matter how tough the topic.  I knew she'd always be loving. And that she'd always be honest.  And that no matter how hard the conversation (and I brought some challenging ones her way over the years), our relationship would be stronger for the discussion.  

Lately, I've been trying to make decisions for our family.  And naturally I've been praying about those decisions.  But my prayers have been dominated by the realization that the choices I'm weighing are all good, and that Heavenly Father might not actually care which I choose, and that I probably just need to decide already and go forward.  But it's been hard to decide.  Hard not to have a spouse to consult.  Hard not to have a mom to call twice a day as new considerations play through my brain (although I have the dearest dad and the dearest mother in law who have taken the divided brunt of those calls in Mom's absence).  

But this afternoon, as my mind was ping-ponging between options, I looked out at Lucy's Cinderella Crab covered with scarlet-turning-white blossoms and I remembered that Isaiah invitation - that open door:  "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord."  And so I said yes when Lucy and Spencer asked to watch another movie (Happy Earth Day!) and I spent an extra couple of hours with my scriptures.  

Those hours didn't yield a decision, but they yielded so much love.  And such renewed confidence that while Heavenly Father does indeed ask us to use our agency, to weigh options, to consider ramifications, and to make hard choices - he invites us to do those things at his table.  Where he can nudge us with ideas and wisdom, and remind us of his continued support.

I've spent the past week or so frustrated about not having an easy answer to this particular decision.  But tonight I feel grateful for the process of grappling.  Because I feel like my relationship with God is stronger for the discussion.  And that is, no doubt, why life is so full of difficulties and decisions in the first place.  

A few months ago Lucy was complaining of aches in her knees.  After ruling out several possible concerns, I finally said, "Maybe it's growing pains,"  at which comment Spencer cheerfully chimed in from across the room, "Well, at least you're growin' while you're painin'!"  

Smile.

I'm not sure, though, that the idea of personal growth alone is always worth the pain to me.  But the relationship growth - actually experiencing the way difficulties and decisions help me grow closer to God - that does truly ease the sting of mortal pains.  That strengthened relationship is a tangible enough blessing for me to reign in my murmuring and to redouble my efforts to "reason together," with God, whatever the dilemma - sin or otherwise.  

I'm so glad for the reality of God's availability to us.  

And I'm so grateful for the beauty of the earth today, 

that prompted me to take advantage of his open door.  

I've always loved Moses 6:63 where the Savior states, “All things are created and made to bear record of me,...things which are in the heavens above, and things which are on the earth, and things which are in the earth, and things which are under the earth, both above and beneath: all things bear record of me."

And that seems the very best reason to celebrate this beautiful, remarkable planet - on earth day and  everyday of the year.