"And All Those Children, Heaven Bless Them..."

Been spending the last week and a half with these faces:

Above: Lori, Wes, Lucy and five of the six Heartel children (one was at a YM overnighter when the picture was taken). Below: Four of the six (the day after Halloween...)

Shall I introduce you?

Stephanie"I'm sixteen years old and I don't need a governess!"

(Never officially uttered. Totally understood.)

Nick...

and Sam...

"Impossible"..."Incorrigible"...??? Nah. Just pretty darn independent!

Holly and Melissa"We flit, we float, we fleetly flee, we fly"...? YES.

Parker

Going to be five on Monday.
Probably doesn't want a "pink parasol."
Maybe a light saber or some Lightning McQueen paraphernalia.

And Lucy...
brings up the rear in Gretel's place. (I wouldn't include her officially in the ranks, but when she was being naughty at the store on Friday, and my stern, "Lucy Truman!" was followed immediately by Parker's, "Lucy Truman Haertel!" I figured, well, she belongs.

All the time we were together, I was in denial about how GROWN UP this little family suddenly is! I couldn't help remembering all the days I spent toting Steph around on my hip and I couldn't quit calling 4 yr old Parker by his 13 yr old brother's name. (Sam was pretty good natured about it. He'd just give me that teasing, twinkling smile that made me want to tousle his hair the way I used to when HE was four.)

I will not deny that the experience was exhausting, but neither will I deny that it was totally rewarding. 'Cause here's the thing: doesn't mothering - of any children, your own children or otherwise, really just boil down to forging strong relationships?

Of course there is discipline involved. And extra dishes. Endless clutter? Oh my word.
But such things are a small price to pay for enduring relationships and eternal friendships, don't you think?

Cause, really! Time goes so fast! This week and a half with my sister's suddenly-grown-up family was a forceful reminder that the days I'm enjoying right now with with Lucy (days of tiny-arm hugs, little bare bottoms, and delightful toddler dialects) are NUMBERED. But it was also a great reminder that the love lasts. The tenderness of little toes and sticky fingers simply transforms into the tenderness of more mature friendship.

Friendship that gladly forms a giggling circle in the living room to discuss crushes and kissing. (Don't worry, guys, your secrets are still safe! Although, Holly, I suppose your secret isn't really a secret anymore!! )

Friendship that cleans the kitchen from top to bottom at no one's request. (Loved coming home to the Friday night sight of Steph and Nick scouring the kitchen before participating in their respective weekend plans with friends)

Friendship that shops together, shares fries together, reads together, picks up a messy room together (Loved our outing "on campus!" Melissa and Holly! Loved our Inkheart chapters. Loved your clean room!!)

Friendship that endearingly fakes delight at a T O U G H roast beef dinner on fast Sunday. (Nick and Steph: "It's really good once it's in your mouth!!" Bless your hearts!)

Friendship that laughs together (like when Lucy says for the 47th time of the day: "I want to go to the tramp!!" - or especially when her request is sung: "Hi ho the dairy oh, I just want to jump!")

Friendship that cries together (over headaches and hand-slammed-in-the-door-aches and I-miss-my-mom-and-my-dad-(and my Wes!)- aches)

What a fascinating pseudo-parenting experience, in all!!

I learned that an infinite number of requests can be made of a person in a two second interval of time. "Aunt Lori where is the...take me to...what are we...help me with...can I go...?!?!?!"

I learned that it is an almost tear inducing MIRACLE to find two matching socks in a family of 16 feet.

I learned that in a five bedroom, five bathroom, two kitchen, one office, one sitting room, one theater room, two laundry room, two family room, one exercise room, one storage room, one "creepy crawly" room house, you loose your two year old, on average, six times a day.

I leaned that teenagers and toddlers are similarly stubborn. Not to be compelled. Honest, patient communication: much more effective with both groups.

I learned that in a house of constant kitchen traffic, life is pretty much over unless you unload the dishwasher FIRST thing in the morning.

I learned that there is something sweetly satisfying about the slow accumulation of sleepy faces on your bed every morning.

I learned that a two year old can grow really attached, really fast to a group of older, doting cousins (by the end of our stay, Lucy was in tears when the bus drove away with her family members: "I just want the cousins!" sob, sob! "I go on the bus, too!" sniff, sniff!).

I learned that there's nothing quite like the conversations pre-school age boys have together on the playground...
Little friend at the park, to Parker: "How old are you?"
Parker: "4 1/2"
Friend: "I'm 5 1/2"
Parker: "We're still friends, right?"
Friend: "Yeah."
Parker: "An' you still like me, right?"
Friend: "Yeah."Most of all, I learned that I have SO MUCH TO LEARN about parenting. There were so many situations this week that I could handle casually, permissively as an aunt, but that made me wonder what in the world I would do as an authoritative (but not authoritarian!) parent.

So sometime soon, let's talk about good parenting, eh?! Be thinking about it! It's pretty much completely on my mind!! ;)

And congrats to those of you who made it to the end of this insanely long post...you lucky few may now scroll down and see a late picture or two of Lucy on Halloween...