I preface this discussion by introducing an exemplary friend of ours:
This is his son holding our daughter's hand...
This is the blog where he posts about the ensuing '08 presidential election...
(and where I try really hard to wrap my mind around political fast talk)This is the blog where he and his beautiful, brilliant wife keep us in stitches about their everyday lives.
Brooke and Scott Rasmussen family
This is the post he wrote explaining the CP80 Internet Zoning Initiative, and this initiative, ladies and gentlemen, this is worth talking about.
It is an initiative addressing the very real and very scary problem of internet pornography.
You may have seen the "CP80 Foundation" link on our sidebar. Our friend Scott worked with the foundation for a time. He describes it as, "a non-profit organization committed to developing and implementing strategies to better protect children and families from unwanted Internet pornography"
I leave it to Scott's post and the CP80 website to explain the details of the CP80 internet pornography sollution. I don't claim to know everything about it, but I do know, and I really appreciate, this:
CP80 takes the pornography problem seriously. The statistics on the website are staggering and the research presented about the nature and effects of pornography is sobering. Let's be honest, most of us don't think about pornography and its ills on a regular basis. But I think President Eyring's words are wise: "People have to believe that the danger is real to want to find safety. They have to fear the consequence of ignoring the peril." The CP80 foundation understands the reality of the pornography crisis our country faces and is making efforts to spread awareness and anti-pornography activity. We appreciate that.
Additionally: I am almost completely ignorant about the internet. I can't live without it, but I don't know a thing about it. Because of my ignorance, I feel horrified, but totally helpless regarding problems like internet pornography. All of my anti-pornography thought processes center around avoiding pornography (through use of filters and blocks, etc) because I mistakenly believe that the pornographic content on my computer is inevitable, a given. But CP80 has helped me understand the internet enough to see that there are other options, better options, than the mere hit-and-miss avoidance and blocking tactics that are currently employed; options like categorizing internet content into "open ports" (where legal pornography and other "adult" material would be published) and "community ports" (where all other non-adult content would publish) thus giving consumers like me the choice to entirely restrict "open port" content. And I tell you what, where my personal space and my precious family are concerned, eliminating pornography sounds better than avoiding or trying to hide from the ever present, undesirable reality.
Wes and I endorse the CP80 fountation. And we urge you to:
Celebrate WRAP Week
White Ribbons Against Pornography
October 28th - November 4th
Visit the CP80 website!
Educate yourself about the capabilities of the internet!
Find out what you can do to be more aware and more involved in taking a stand against pornography. Causes like this cannot succeed without numerous and influential advocates!
We are so grateful for our friends like Scott and Brooke who have increased our awareness about this important topic, who motivate us by their example to "act" and not be "acted upon," and who inspire us to really believe President Hinckley's words, that the "high tide" of "filth and violence...can be turned back."
17 comments:
I had always wondered what that CP8o was on the sidebar. I am interested to learn more about it so I will have to read it once I get the chance to, after the kids go to bed. Thanks for the thoughts and reminder that it is out there and oh so very available to all, which is really sad!
Thanks Lori! During my Relief Society lesson yesterday, I had the feeling that I really wanted to get more involved in groups like this, but I didn't know where to start. This is a great place! I look forward to reading and learning about it. Thanks for the info.
Now that Grandpa is a Bishop I understand a little better why the subject of pornograpy comes up always in General Conference. It is insidious, evil, and everywhere! I commit for the sake of my grandaughters and my grandsons to become involved!
Thanks for the motivation!
As a member of "Citizens for Community Standards" in Bountiful, I totally endourse this war of David against the billion-dollar Golliath and Porn Industry!!! Bravo!
It seems such an over-whelming feat, but with such forces 'with' us (The Prophet, angels), who can be against!.........Hmmmm good stuff .... dwp
My best friend is LDS, and I have blog-hopped to people she knows. I am not LDS, and it is clear that most people that are in this circle of friends are LDS, so I always like to throw in my "outsider" opinion (and de-lurk myself!).
Although no one would dispute that the pedophiles of internet porn are awful (like the horrific people that Dateline always catches), I'm curious about the comment that internet porn is ruining children. Don't parents supervise internet use of their children??? I'd never even heard of porn until I was well into my later teen years, because my parents knew what I was doing. Maybe I'm the only person that doesn't ever find porn at random on the internet.
I just wonder, with all of the horrible things going on today in the world (child hunger, lack of appropriate healthcare, child abuse, etc), is this an issue worth spending so much time and resources fighting for? I don't like porn, so I avoid it. It is pretty simple for me.
I'm a researcher as well, and I was surprised that CP8o had no scientific data that I could readily find on their website. I would think if there truly is compelling data, they would have it all over their website.
Anyway, I'm not trying to be rude, just giving a non-LDS perspective. I enjoy reading the VERY thoughtful and heartfelt discussions that go on on many of the blogs I read.
You also have a really adorable daughter :)
I have a lot to say about this. Tia, I'm so glad you were willing to share your thoughts. I think porn poses a tremendous threat to children not only in the sense that it incites abnormal sexual appetites (ie pedophilia) but also, more prevalently, in the way that it can and does deteriorate intimacy in a marriage--their parents' marriage. I recently read several posts on a forum for mothers from women who were concerned about the deterioration of their marriages. Most of them casually mentioned their husband's preference for pornography, but didn't give it a second thought as a probable cause of their marital problems. I posted a response that suggested maybe it was the porn that was causing the problems in their marriages, and that they just weren't aware of it. I was interested (and selfishly, glad,) to see that a marriage therapist added a comment to my post, saying that I had really keyed into something, and that pornography has sort of stumbled onto the stage of marriage/family counseling recently (as it's become so prevalent and easily accessible on the internet) and has revealed itself as a huge threat to healthy marriage. The therapist made the comment that her professional peers have sort of had their feet held to the fire to come up with solutions for the problem, and ways to counsel people through pornography addictions as it poses a serious threat to marital intimacy. I'd say that as a threat to marriage, porn is a tremendous threat to children.
What you said, Tia, about just avoiding porn on the internet is, in my opinion, naive simply for the fact that you are a woman and women are far less prone to that kind of sexual stimulation than men are. I don't have any problem avoiding unsolicited sexual material on the internet either, but if I were a curious thirteen year old boy, the temptation would be much more intense and ads that I (as a twenty-five year old mother) don't even look at, might send a hormonal teenager on a sexual scavenger hunt, so to speak. And when you go looking, sexual material is not hard to find on the internet. I happen to know more than one woman who could tell true, personal stories that would make your stomach turn about the hell that a pornography addiction caused in their marriages, and by extension, their whole lives.
One last thing and I'll stop, I think there is so much irony in the fact that our society gets its collective feathers all ruffled about gender inequality and the proper treatment of women, but turns a blind eye to the nine billion dollar pornography industry--I can't think of an industry or institution that is more degrading or insulting to women than the porn industry that objectifies women as sex props in the media and endangers them in real life by constructing insatiable and unnatural sexual appetites in its consumers.
(whew!) I kind of feel like I should say "Amen" at the end of that kind of schpiel. (wink!)
Hey Emily (I found Lori from you)..I have to say I LOVE this intellectual conversations. I find them truly stimulating. I work from home, with co-workers 3,000 miles away, so I appreciate the ability to have these deeper conversations.
Maybe I missed the point on CP8o. From what I read, they aren't trying to get rid of porn, just trying to make it so you can "tune it out." My response was based on that.
I guess I'm lucky to have had many great relationships in which the men had little to no interest in porn. It is terrible if that ruins a marriage, no argument there, but don't a person have bigger problems in a marriage if their spouse is turning to porn? Addiction is addiction, and I think many people might just be more "wired" for addiction. My brother was one of those people, and he eventually died from it. Do you think that, maybe, if the porn wasn't there they would have another addiction?
Disclaimer: please don't think I'm condoning porn in any way AT ALL!
Lori... thank you for posting about this. I had clicked on the CP80 link a while back and had signed up for the newsletter/updates but kind of forgot about it. Thanks for the reminder of something truely important. I agree... I'd rather prevent pornography from coming into my home than just avoiding it.
And a huge AMEN to everything that Emily said... I don't think I could add much more to that...
How nice to come home from lunch to a real adult discussion! Thanks everyone, for your thought- provoking comments!
And Tia - thanks for adding your perspective. Nothing evokes THOUGHT and REFLECTION like encountering different opinions!
In regard to the goals of the CP80 initiatives: You're right, Tia, the focus is not so much about "getting rid of" porn. As members of a country where free speech is constitutionally protected, I don't know if any of us could think of a realistic way to legislate "getting rid of" the problem (although I think we all agree that would be the most desirable end!)
But because "getting rid of it" is not an immediate option - the CP80 proposal is, in my research, the next best choice.
I am not an employee of CP80 and can't give many details about the research behind its initiatives, but the CP80 articles I have read are all well documented and from credible sources.
I HIGHLY recommend this one, for example:
http://cp80.org/resources/0000/0036/avoidingchaos.pdf
The article by W. Belnap, M.D., discusses pornography as an addiction and concludes that (perhaps for the reason you mentioned, Tia: that addictions are dangerous and life changing)pornography should be regulated and monitored just as much as other addictive substances. Belnap says, "As a nation we have passed law after law to regulate the sale, the distribution,
and use of cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol in order to protect our youth from damaging addictions and a life full of health problems." Why should pornography - similarly addictive - be an unregulated exception?
Thanks again for everyone's input! Comments - and even controversy - are always very welcome here!
Tia, i LOVE these intellectual discussions, too. And I love that you participate in them (wait...I already said that.) Sometimes I think I get so heated up about an issue that I sort of throw my ideas up quickly and passionately without really sorting through them. As has been said, I don't think getting rid of porn in a very realistic option, I just think it should be more heavily regulated (and parents should be able to regulate what comes into their homes via their computers). And as far as scientific research, I think sometimes it's harder to quantify the effects of a pornography addiction, as it may not have such documentable/immediate effects as a substance addiction. I think you're right, Tia, about addiction being addiction. I just think, like Lori said, that this highly addictive medium should be regulated like other addictive substances.
The scary thing, though, is that we (obviously) can't regulate everything that comes under our children's/spouses/boyfriend's gaze and if that addictive tendency/vulnerability is there it's unsettling to know that there is exposure to sleeze almost everywhere. (frown.)
I wasn't going to comment, but have a few thoughts I want to share. Obviously, this is directed at Tia's comments, as your opinion differed from all the others and were, to me, "naive", as another reader put it.
First of all, you made it sound as if it is the fault of the spouse that another spouse is addicted to pornography..."don't a person have bigger problems in a marriage if their spouse is turning to porn?" WOW. That blew me away. Are you suggesting that it's someone else's fault in the marriage that their spouse is involved in porn? And what bigger problems are you talking about than one that could ultimately lead to infedility which, if you ask me or any married person, is probably one of -- if not THE -- biggest problems a marriage could face? And, even though the addicted may not actually have an affair with another person, I consider it cheating on your spouse to view sexually explicit images, etc. of other women, because it does stimulate and arouse. And...don't you think that women (because it's usually the men involved in porn...not always, but usually) in a marriage with a spouse who is turning to porn already blame themselves and wonder what they could be/do differently so he wouldn't do that? It is NOT her fault.
Secondly, you mentioned that you've never been in a relationship with a male who had a porn problem. That may be true; I hope it is. I don't think i have either...but, it is becoming so pervasive, that there are more people than we realize with this problem, so you and I may very well know someone who is hung up in pornography. And, just because you and I don't konw they are struggling, doesn't mean they aren't. You mentioned you had a brother with addictions, which I was sorry to hear about. I would imagine that it was a while before you or your family knew about his struggles. People involved in addictions are very good at deception and hiding...from others, and even themselves. I can say this from firsthand experience, as I struggled with addiction in the form of an eating disorder for many years...which I was very good at hiding from family and friends. People don't always know. That's what makes addictions so insidious.
You also mentioned that parents need to monitor their child's internet time. This is very true. But can parents watch their children all the time? As a mother of two young BOYS, I wish that I could! It scares me to death to send them into this world. What if, when they're older, they are at a friend's house -- maybe mom's home, but the computer is in an office with a closed door -- and they come across -- whether by accident or on purpose -- a porn sight? Before we even get there, however, what about sending my kids to school with kids whose parents aren't supervising them, and they tell my kids about what they see? Or, as happens more and more, act out what they've seen on my children?! Disgusting, appalling, and frightening, yes...also realistic. I can and do vigilantly monitor and teach my children...but there are kids out there who haven't been so supervised. And my kids will encounter them.
Finally, what about simply taking a stand -- however small -- for something that is just evil?
I want to clarify...when I pointed out your comments, Tia, is "different from the others", that came across as different = bad or wrong. That is definitely not the case, and not how I feel. I just couldn't pretend like my comments were directed at nothing, since it would be obvious what they were in response to.
Thanks, Tia, for putting your comments on here, and to be willing to have them discussed.
I am in NO WAY suggesting that it is a spouse's fault if the other person is involved in porn, and I sincerely apologize if that is what came across!
I think some of you have taken this a bit farther than I did, which is why I might come off as misunderstood. I was basing my comment solely on the goals of CP80, which is just to block porn, not end it. I still don't think I'm changing my original thoughts either. I think CP80 is wasting (ok, that was harsh, so put in a little less harsh words there) their time. The technology to block porn already exists and is easy to use. I'm on a work computer, and it blocks anything even remotely sexual (i.e. I can't get on Victoria's Secret website). I guess with all of the awful things going on in the world, I hate to see people spinning their wheels for something that already exists. Now if they want to stop porn, that's something different. But freedom of speech is a powerful thing, so I'm not sure if stopping porn (or the money accompanied with it) is realistic, even if that would be best for society.
Anyway, interesting discussion and I definitely appreciate all sides of the issue. As someone who grew up with little religion (we stopped going to Lutheran church when I was 6), had a best friend who is Mormon, and who went to a Catholic high school, I'm always interested in the ways that religion guides our viewpoints.
Tia, I can see that your comments are directed soly at the proposed benefits of the CP80 initiatives and that you don't in any way condone porn or question it's negative societal effects.
Your comments are definately fair and they encourage a good look at excatly what CP80 is trying to do. Is it really worth the effort? Good question.
I guess we have to leave it to each other as individuals to make those priority calls but since the questions are raised, I'll tell you why I DON'T think CP80 is a waste of time:
I don't agree that the current methods employed for blocking pornography are adequate. I HAVE, twice, had undesired pornography pop up on my very ultra protected, can't-even-do-normal-things-like-watch-youtube because of blocks and filters, BYU computer.
Also I work at a job where I am aware of students who have by-passed school blocks and filters to access porn.
Also free wireless is growing more and more accessible all over the country and the number of gadgets and tools (cell phones, video games) with internet access are multiplying. All of that, the growing efficiency and accessability of technology, is inherintly good - but it leaves SO MANY GATES open for makers and sellers of porn to spread their product. This is their business, right? And where high profits are at stake, I don't think our current blocks and filters have a chance of protecting families from the effects of the porn industry's wares.
Thus, I think it comes down to the issue we discussed (if you call these back and forth comments "discussion" :) earlier: There has to be legilation and accountability regarding the publishing of pornography. There have to be governmentally enforced restrictions - if not elimination (and we all see the difficuly of eliminating what most people recognize as free speech.)
And really, that's why I support CP80. It is, in my opinion, a remarkablly fair and constitutional approach to dealing with the flood of pornography in our country. It allows makers and sellers to continue making and selling, if they so choose - but it also enfoces accountability and requires the porn industry to make their product available only to consumers who CHOOSE it.
And isn't that fair?
Tia - I hope you realize that I don't in any way interpret your lack of support for CP80 as sympathy toward pornography. I respect your ability to investigate and endose the causes that you deem worthy. But I hope the comments on this post will help you, to a certain extent, understand why I and some of the readers of this blog DO choose to support the CP80 foundation.
As has been said, we TRULY appreciate the perspective and background that you bring to the discussion.
(And one final word regarding background and religious persuasion...
While the subject of pornography is highly addressed by LDS leaders and leaders of other faiths, I think it deserves to be noted that CP80 is not in any way a RELIGIOUS foundation. It was not sponsored by and is not officially endorsed by the LDS church. Hopefully that's clear to everyone. I think it is.)
I encourage anyone to stick with a cause that you believe in, and CP80 certainly is a good cause :)
I look forward to reading additional stimulating topics on your blog in days/weeks/months to come :) I have to say the biggest thing I miss about graduate school is having deeper, intellectual conversations. I appreciate having blogger acquaintances where we can have those discussions and a variety of opinions are welcome. It's a great way for me and everyone to learn!
:):):)
I'm loving this! Good Thoughts.
Stimulating conversation! AND--from the department of P.I.E. (Past Intellectual Encounters) I bid you carry on! (for the cause, it is just!) dwp
Well said Lori. Amen.
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